Ambassadors of Christ

by GAO member True Anathema


II Corinthians 5:20 “Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us…”

Ambassadors for Christ…that’s what Christians are, or so I was taught. How many people are living their life as a representation of someone whom they don’t know, whom they can never truly know? How can one know Christ, or if he ever really truly existed? There are as many different representations of him as there are religions, denominations in those religions, and individuals and factions of those. It’s countless. Even within a denomination of a particular religion, you’ll get as many pictures or descriptions of who people think he is as there are people.

In the “Left Behind” series, he is a heartless, violent, angry avenger, damning those left on earth who dared not accept the witness of the pure in him. If you watch TBN or other “Christian” networks, he really just wants your money, because the people that are his witnesses deserve golden toilet seats and podiums and custom-made embroidered clothing while the elderly and poor give their last pennies to sow a seed in hopes of a financial deliverance. Other churches preach hate against homosexuals and liberals while others spend their time doing missions. But even those missions have a purpose, a hidden agenda, right? They are representing Christ. Sure there are some that have a burden for mankind and want to alleviate suffering, but others are only doing it because they hope others will see their good works and glorify God who is in heaven. They are looking for a reward; however righteous they think their reward is…so their alms are in reality, selfish. It’s like one big cosmic, imagined board game.

I’ve lived my whole life trying to represent someone else and I’ve been lost. That’s what it’s supposed to be about though isn’t it? “He that loses his life shall find it” and all that. Well, I took my life back and I’m not lost. Quite the opposite. I’m finding myself. I have a mind and a heart that function quite well on their own, even better now actually. I’m not trying to gain the whole world, but even if I did, I believe my soul is still mine…it won’t be lost.

Still, I feel as if I’ve broken up with my high school sweetheart. I guess that’s how I feel. I wasn’t allowed to date as I could only date someone who raised their hands in service, spoke in tongues, and could lay hands on people and heal them. There weren’t any young men like that in my high school. How about yours?

I’m on the outside now. I knew the truth, held the secret deep down in my heart and reveled on Sunday morning that I was part of a community that knew what I knew. Now there are more questions than answers and the people who have known me for some time don’t know what to do with my questions, so they avoid me. No calls, no e-mails, no Facebook chats. Conversations have become awkward and pointless. I find myself giving one word answers to questions and not throwing the ball back during conversation, because I’m afraid I’ll tell them they’re stupid, or they’ll tell me I’m damned.

But I’m not damned. That’s the point. From now on I’m going to represent myself. No more plastic smiles and Stepford Christian for me. Just me. Me. Me.